sometimes...

... we have a bad day.  sometimes we have a bad week.  sometimes we go weeks without a bad one, but this sometime was this week.  it's been long.  it's been stressful.

But, and this is more important than all of that, there were small blessings, moments of joy and happiness, smiles, giggles, tickles, and play.  It's often difficult (for me anyway) to always keep that in mind.  Times get hard, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, or in any other way (or a combination), and it is often the focus of my attention.  Sometimes I cannot let go of things.  Sometimes I cannot see past things that are tough to see the brightness.  Sometimes I try, and sometimes I fail.  But, more importantly, sometimes I can see the good through the tough, stressful, upsetting, or sad.

Sometimes I feel like I'm not the greatest mom, sometimes I am a great mom.  This week was long, stressful, difficult.  We had tears (not just the girls, me too- ahh, who doesn't love increased hormones due to pregnancy), bickering, two little girls who would not listen, more bickering, biting (yes, biting by both of them- Wednesday afternoon was no fun), did I mention bickering?!  I got frustrated, I attempted to be patient, I did my very best to be understanding of circumstances and development, I prayed for patience and understanding, yet there were times when I was not.  I had to be more firm with Chloe than I like.  I had to lay down the law after giving the benefit of the doubt.  I had to physically restrain Berkley when she was so overtired tonight that she wouldn't stop screaming, hitting, and kicking me.  I don't like to do those things.  I don't like to feel like I'm losing my cool.  Patience is my goal, always.  I usually keep it well, but after a week like this past week, I simply couldn't, and today was my breaking point.

I hate feeling hard on my girls; I hate raising my voice; I hate having to say "no" (I am sure many of you are rolling your eyes and thinking, 'Seriously?!?!?' but yes, "no" is never my word of choice.  Among many reasons for disliking using "no" with my girls is this one); I don't like to feel like an enemy or one to be disliked especially from a little and a mini that I love so much.  Unfortunately, sometimes being a parent includes these things.  They are often inevitable, but that doesn't make it any easier...

Being a mom is the greatest blessing.  Even though being a mom is also hard at times, it is still the greatest, most amazing blessing.  It's not always easy, some days it isn't all that fun, but when I think back on the good versus the bad, I realize the good is greater, more frequent, and oh so amazing.  The stress, the hard days, the loss of complete patience, the physical pain pregnancy can bring, the emotional aspect of being a mother, the inability to jump on the tramp without peeing your pants, peeing a little when you cough, sneeze, or laugh (wow, I never imagined being a mom would lead to so many urinary problems), crying when you don't know how to handle a situation, hours of prayer that your children will be safe and that you will be good enough for them and many other things that I'm sure I've not included here are far inferior to the happiness, joy, and blessings I've experienced being a mom.  And I'm so extremely grateful that I get to relive all of those wonderful things with the sweet spirit I am carrying now.  I never knew that being a mom would end up being exactly what I've always wanted to be when I grew up- what a delightful, glorious, no words can compare feeling.

To sweet Chloe, mini Berkley, and our little bean: I love you so much, and your Daddy does, too.  We are so blessed to have you.  Because of you we have the world.  Because of you we know what true happiness is.  Because of you we know true love.  Because of you we are eternally blessed :)

Sometimes it is hard, but it will always, always be worth it!

Our family is...

... growing. We're expecting, you see!  Where before we had two, we now will have THREE!

We are so incredibly excited to be having another baby!  This baby has been long awaited for, and we simply want to shout it out :)  Baby Taylor #3 will be making his or her appearance April 5th 2013.  I have been feeling well overall, and the baby is doing wonderfully!  Another fast heartbeat- 183bpm- and both of my girls had faster heartbeats, but time will tell (hopefully in November we will know)!  The girls are super excited, especially Chloe.  We are so blessed and beyond happy to be having another sweet spirit in our home :)

1st day of dance + dance photos

Chloe & Berkley are so lucky to both be taking dance this year!  They started a couple of weeks ago, but we were running behind and I wasn't able to take very many first day photos (plus, we weren't in my ideal situation)!  Here are the pictures I got right before their first class: 

 {The girls together- yep, this is literally the best one I could get of them together!  Berkley was obviously very unwilling to take any pictures}

 {sweet Chloe ready for dance}

 {darling Berk with her pony not wanting to smile or show any emotion}

 {Do these two scream 'deer in the headlights' or what?!  I think Berkley likes dance a lot because of Taya}

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And here are the photos from our mini "shoot" earlier today in Weston: 

 {Silly faced Chloe}

 {She loves to twirl in this skirt!}

 {how darling}

 {I really love this one!}

 {sweet mini dancer}

 {Yeah, I'm not really sure what was up with the weird faces today!!}

 {Poor mini always pushing her curls out of her face!  I can relate, well minus the curls!  Chloe can, too!}

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I snapped these two while Chloe was at preschool!  Berkley and I have really enjoyed having some one-on-one time :)

 {a mini and her pup}

{a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e.}

A few from different places...

As always I had a few sets of pictures from over the last few weeks that simply didn't have their very own post, so I combined them here :)

There are some old grain bins near the train tracks close to our house.  I'd driven past them often to get Berkley to sleep (this was after taking her binky away and we were all tired and unable to get her to sleep when she so desperately needed it) and thought we might be able to capture some cute pictures.  I think we succeeded.... :)

 {Chloe was not in the mood to take pictures, so I took some that did not have her grouchy face in them}

 {My favorite three people walking the tracks}

 {sweet Berkley}

 {And the grouchiness ended long enough to take this one!  Yes, she is in a train car.  Yes, it probably was not legal, but it made for some cute pictures!  And my sweet husband made me check the train car first.  I said to him, "You better hope there is no one on here and that I don't get stabbed!"  Everything was obviously fine- no hobos, no loose animals, just an empty train car that the girls were ready to play in!!!}

 {I thought this was fabulous- the girls walking in synch!  And who can't love Berkley's sweet curls?!}

While my mom was visiting, we went to the Brigham City Temple open house.  It was so beautiful!  The girls enjoyed looking at the rooms- Chloe especially loved the mirrors in the sealing room, while Berkley kept smiling in awe of the gorgeous chandeliers in the Celestial room.  It was an amazing experience, and I'm thankful that my mom could come with us!  Thanks Mom :)

 {what a beautiful temple!  it was so bright that I had a difficult time capturing a great picture, but I love it!}

We played a lot while my mom visited during Chad's hunting trip!  Here are some pictures:

 {Chloe was watching Berkley on their rollercoaster!  Finn was likely trying to eat grasshoppers}

 {Shirtless Berkley (this happens when she is tired and crazy) playing Ring around the Rosie!}

 {Chloe wanted me to take a picture of her jumping in the air.  I caught her jumping in the air over Finn}

{When it was time to come in and get ready for bed, the girls were simply unwilling.  This happens more often than not on warm nights (especially in the summer), but I knew how tired Berkley was and that it was cooling down (so she'd start getting cold).  So, mom & I headed inside and waited.  The girls had just ripped off two branches from the willow tree and were "roasting hotdogs" with them.  I snuck outside to capture that sweet moment, but they stood up at that very moment, so I caught them walking instead!  I love these two so, so much!!

First day of preschool!

My sweet, bright, little Chloe had her first day of Preschool a couple of weeks ago.  She was so excited, so excited!  I honestly cannot believe that this day came, but it is such a good thing- she loves it, which is very important to me, and it is obviously beneficial.  I informed her that I would be taking some pictures for her first day of school; I worried that she might not be willing to cooperate for the few pictures I had in mind, but , to my surprise, she wanted to take more and more and more pictures.  So many more, in fact, that I had to tell her we needed to be done :)  Love this little girl to pieces, I just wish I could slow time down and keep her little longer...

 {Berkley insisted on being in this photo, despite her grumpy face- she'd just gotten over her fever, darn it!}

 {So incredibly sweet}

 {I saw so many versions of this picture on Pinterest, and I just couldn't resist!  I think it turned out cute!!!}

 {I asked her to be excited; this was her response}

 {Silly face!}

 {I truly love this one.  She is so beautiful!}

 {This was a Chloe chosen picture.  She said, "We should take some of my under the tire in the sandbox." And it turned out so sweet!}

 {Chloe & my Mom thought the willow tree would be a good backdrop, and I must say that they were so right}

 {Chloe wearing blue is wonderful!  I love that it brings out her very own beautiful blues!}

{She was jumping up and down.  How fun!!}

Chloe's first day went wonderfully (except when she was a bit clingly with me there).  After the snack she really opened up, and while we were playing on the floor she looked at me and said with a smile on her face, "Mom, I'm going to tell Grandma that I had fun at preschool!"

Since then her love of preschool has grown!  She knows everyone in her class and always has stories to tell when she gets home.  I think she is honestly most impressed with the snacks, but given the fact that she has been eating us out of house and home (growth spurt, perhaps??!!), it is not terribly surprising.  She is already training Berkley to be ready for preschool, too.  What an amazing girl I have!!  Love you, Chloe :)

I know it has been a little while...

...but, in my defense, I did not have my computer for the last week and a half.  Yes, that's right, Chad took it hunting.  Hunting.  I'm certain you are thinking the same thing I was thinking: "Why would someone take a computer hunting??"  Well, the boys needed to see the pictures from their trail cameras while they were back  to Owen's baptism over the weekend (not this past weekend, but the one before).

What did that mean?  Well, it meant that I had (and still have) about 300 pictures on my camera that seriously needed to be uploaded, edited, and posted but unfortunately are still not any of the above!  Sad, huh?  Here I was on top of it all, then WHAM!  My sweet Chad takes my computer.

Despite the fact that I was unable to do any of my fun picture things, we kept busy doing this:

*Nursing my sweet Berkley back to health after having a bad cold and a slight fever
*Going to Logan and having the guy at Jamba Juice mess up my order... again!
*Staying home, watching Bambi, and having my mini (Berkley- it is one of my special nicknames for her) snuggle up with me in bed
*Watching my sweet nephew Owen get baptized
*Picking my mom up at the airport- a first, and I must say very fun (minus mini feeling sickly still)
*Chad leaving us to go hunting again, and my mom staying a few days with us
*Chloe's FIRST DAY OF PRESCHOOL! (Exciting, bittersweet, sort of sad, but fun, and definitely something I will be making a post about soon)
*The Brigham City Temple open-house with my girls & mom. Click here for more information :)
*Shopping in Ogden, which included lunch and one of my favorites: Target
*My mom leaving *sniff, sniff*
*Chloe & Berkley's first Dance Class!! Also more to come on this...!
*Chad coming home empty handed, but Brian got a monster!

And yep, that's pretty much our re-cap.  Keep checking back; I really do plan on updating soon, though this weekend may be a bit busy :)